My father's descision

Today wasn’t the best of all days...

My dad told me he didn’t want Zephyr to be on the other side of the gate for any reason. First I couldn’t use a large measuring cup to give her water in. Then I had to be sure he “didn’t have to deal with her”. Now Zephyr can’t join me in the main part of the house even when he’s not home. My dog is a prisoner now. I’ve been pretty depressed all day over this.

Before he went to get those damn ECT treatments, and before Zephyr and I damaged the house, my father really cared about Zephyr. Not quite as much as me, but he cared about her. He agreed to let me adopt her. He agreed to put up a fence in his yard to give her room to run around. He happily spent time with her when I wasn’t home. It was my father that started teaching her how to fetch and even how to stay. He would find comfort in Zephyr falling asleep at his feet. He even got to the point where he wouldn’t object to Zephyr hopping up on his bed. Now all that is a distant memory.

He wants nothing to do with her anymore. Zephyr makes him uncomfortable and anxious. He looks at her in disgust. His entire attitude has flipped 180 degrees. I don’t know if those goddamn doctors and their ridiculous shock therapy is to blame, or if this is some kind of extended punishment for the water damage to the house. If he can be so quick to turn love into hate with my dog, what assurance do I have that he won’t turn on me for something...

Wow...apparantly I’m retarded. I didn’t need t...

Wow...apparantly I’m retarded. I didn’t need to purchase the upgraded version of MacJournal. A tech support guy over at Mariner Software pointed me in the direction of a .dmg with the newest version. Off to try to post to Blogger...

Well, today was my Dad’s first full day back. ...

Well, today was my Dad’s first full day back. He still seems really disoriented in his surroundings. Hopefully that will pass. I’m worried about him. He didn’t remember where we kept the silverware in the kitchen. Little things like that are noticeable. I certainly don’t love him any less for it though. I do hope he’ll open up to me and allow me to help him.

Another day without taking care of my student loans consolidation. TOMORROW!! I also need to remember to cancel that damn auto insurance from Allstate. I should fish my W2 out from my car somewhere, as well as contact Sprint about that $167 credit balance I apparently have.

I got the nerve to talk to my Dad about the situation with the floor. I asked him straight up how angry he is at me and whether he’s going to kick Zephyr and me out of the house. He reassured me that he had no intention of kicking us out. He’s upset at the situation, which is totally understandable, but he’s not mad at me. He seems leery or Zephyr, though, which is one thing I was afraid of. He told me he didn’t want to have to “deal with her” while I’m at work. My little girl is going to have to stay in my room with the door closed. I can’t help but feel like our future rests in Zephyr’s paws. If she can behave in my room with the door closed, then I know we’ll be fine...if not, then I just don’t know...

I’d like to upgrade this version of MacJournal to the newest so I can put this up on Blogger, but it’s really being a pain in the ass. Their system doesn’t seem to recognize my serial code.....BOOOO!!

Father's Homecoming

So, today was the day that my dad came home from Seattle and those horrible ECT treatments. I can’t believe how much weight he lost! The gut is almost completely gone now! He looks really good!

Grams and I went to the airport to get him. She drove around the terminal while I greeted him upon his arrival. I was so thrilled to see him. It was such a relief to see him.

Afterwards, we dropped his stuff off at home, and headed over to Grams’ house, where pizza was waiting. He ate 4 slices and so did I! I’ve been so stressed the last few days that eating hasn’t been a priority for me.

He seemed awfully preocupied though today. I’m hoping it’s mostly a result of fatigue. I can’t help shake the feeling that he’s really upset at me and he’s keeping up to himself. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I hope so. I don’t want to have to revert back to Plan B...

He’s probably going to need a few days to re-adjust to being home. I just want him to know he can count on me for anything he needs.

Filling in the Blanks...

Well, my last one of these entries was in September. A lot has happened since then. Time for a recap...

In November, I finished that last class at ITT Tech and got my Associate’s Degree,

In October, my father and I reached an understanding about communicating with one another, and we’re closer than ever.

Also in November, I landed an amazing job at Cyan Worlds, Inc. Not only did I get hired, but I was chosen immediately for a supervisor position. I love my job, and I’m good at it, too!

In December, I was very close to renting my own apartment, finally. I wanted a place of my own so that I could get myself a doggy companion. I didn’t go for the apartment.

The reason I didn’t get the apartment is because my father pulled out all the stops and agreed to let me bring a dog home! She’s a siberian husky, her name is Zephyr and she was 9 months old when we adopted her from the Spokane Humane Society. I love Zephyr more than I ever imagined I could! I’ve ALWAYS wanted a dog, and now, finally, at age 27, I have one! She’s my best friend and I’m dedicated to doing all I can to make her happy!